


just hold me back or let me run

by ivyalexandrias



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Canon-Typical Violence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Gen, It/Its Pronouns for The Toy Soldier (The Mechanisms), Multi, Murder, On Hiatus, Other, dont let the first chapter fool you this is gonna be lyf-centric, gd i didnt think id ever use that tag. man., jack is there for 5 seconds and hes dead the whole time, more character and relationship tags to be added, not sure for how long but i can barely open word rn so, they still have their disabilities though!, title from zurich is stained by pavement, true crime podcaster lyf, youve. youve been warned dude.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivyalexandrias/pseuds/ivyalexandrias
Summary: “Jonny, what the hell is going on? Are you okay?” Ashes’ voice rings out, the tinny quality of the phone’s speaker doing little to mask the concern in their voice. Jonny laughs at that, though there’s no humor behind it.“Fuck no, I’m not okay. I- Ashes, it all happened so fast, I don’t know what happened. I just- I wanted to give him the money, but he tried to grab me, a-and there was a knife, and- fuck, I messed up. I messed up so bad, and now I don’t know what to do, and I can’t even get the blood off.” There’s rustling on the other side of the line, and he hears the sound of someone typing at a keyboard.“Jonny did you… did you kill someone?”orthe self indulgent serial killer au no one asked for but im gonna provide
Relationships: Jonny d'Ville & Ashes O'Reilly, Jonny d'Ville & Nastya Rasputina, Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum, Marius von Raum & The Toy Soldier, eventual brian/galahad but im not gonna tag it yet., polymechs, tag wranglers if you see this Do Not Add This To The Brian/Galahad Tag I Beg You
Comments: 50
Kudos: 66





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> hello gang its lance back at it again w the specific aus that appeal only to xem and xyr interests. on todays menu we have: serial killer au!!!
> 
> there'll be more complex cws at the beginning of every chapter, if applicable :} lmk if something needs added
> 
> cws for this chapter: aftermath of a murder, semi-graphic descriptions of a corpse, a character (jonny) goes non-verbal for a bit due to sensory overload, descriptions of a heart being removed from a corpse.

Jonny’s hands shake as he stares at the body beneath him. Blood pools on the floor, and he has to suppress a scream as he meets Jack’s vacant, glossy eyes. It’s a miracle they’re still intact, seeing as the rest of the man’s face is a bloody, mutilated mess, as is most of his neck and chest. Something clatters to the ground, and Jonny cries out, scrambling away until he realizes it was his own knife, dropping from his slack grip. Blood smears behind him on the ground as he pushes himself back from the body, not stopping until he’s huddled in a corner.

With trembling hands, he pulls out his phone, pushing down the yell of frustration that bubbles in this throat when it takes several tries to unlock it, but he manages, quickly maneuvering to his messaging app. He fumbles a couple of times, but finally opens his and Ashes’ conversation. The last text in the thread is Ashes telling him to be safe at Jack’s, and asking him to let them know when he was done.

Me: call

Me: nwo

Me: ashs pleasd I need uyo

ashes 🔥: ?

ashes 🔥: okay

A moment later, his phone lights up with his friend’s contact, and he accepts the call, pressing the button to set it to speaker. He sets the phone on the floor, and sets about violently scrubbing at his hands, trying to get the blood off of them with his sweatshirt. It’s equally bloodied, though, so he really only succeeds in smearing it around.

“Jonny, what the hell is going on? Are you okay?” Ashes’ voice rings out, the tinny quality of the phone’s speaker doing little to mask the concern in their voice. Jonny laughs at that, though there’s no humor behind it.

“ _Fuck_ no, I’m not okay. I- Ashes, it all happened so _fast_ , I don’t know what happened. I just- I wanted to give him the money, but he tried to grab me, a-and there was a knife, and- _fuck_ , I messed up. I messed up so bad, and now I don’t know what to do, and I can’t even get the blood off.” There’s rustling on the other side of the line, and he hears the sound of someone typing at a keyboard.

  
“Jonny did you… did you kill someone?” Ashes is hesitant, but they don’t sound afraid, which surprises him. Jonny laughs again at that, the sound dangerously close to a sob.

“You could fucking say that! I just- all I wanted was for him to let go, but he _didn’t_ , and then there w- there was a knife, and I grabbed it from him, and I just kept _stabbing_ , and Ashes please there’s so much _blood_ and it’s on my hands so now I’ve got fucking- I’ve got sensory issues on top of everything, and I just fucking need you right now.” Ashes sighs sharply, and he hears more typing, then the jingling of keys.

“Where are you right now? Are you at Jack’s place?” Jonny nods, and it takes him a moment to remember they can’t see him.

“I’m- yeah, I’m at his place. The cabin, n-not the apartment. We never go to the apartment for money stuff, Jack says- Jack said it was too public.”  
  
“Okay. Jonny, I’m gonna be there in twenty minutes, and I’m going to bring two of my friends who are going to help me. They won’t call the police, they won’t even say anything to you, and I promise you can trust them. I need you to stay where you are, and keep quiet. Are you sure there was no one around who could’ve heard anything? Seen anything?” Jonny sucks in a shaky breath, glancing back over at Jack’s body, before quickly tearing his gaze away. He’d gone for the throat first, so the older man hadn’t had much chance to scream before he was cut open.

“N-no. You know how lonely it is here. What do you mean friends? I mean- that’s dangerous, isn’t it? What if they get in trouble?” He hears Ashes snort, and the sound of their car starting.

“I highly doubt _this_ is the thing that’ll get them caught, sloppy as you might have been. Listen, Jonny, I need to focus on driving so I can get there quicker, so I’m gonna hang up now, okay?  
  


  
“O-okay.” Jonny dreads the silence again, but he knows they need to drive, and he’s not so selfish as to distract them from that.

“Okay. I’ll see you super soon, alright? Stay there. It’ll be okay, I promise.” Their voice is uncharacteristically soft, and they hang up before Jonny can respond.

Twenty minutes. He can handle twenty minutes without spiraling. He needs to be attentive when Ashes (and their friends, apparently) show up, so he can help if they need it. Just twenty minutes.

Jonny barely makes it ten before he ends up curled in a ball on the ground, bloody hands fisted in his hair, knees drawn up to his chest as he sobs into empty air. The feelings of blood cooling on his skin, sticky and metallic, combined with the flood of conflicting emotions running on a loop in his mind, is too much for him to handle. He barely notices it when he hears Ashes’ car pull into the driveway of the cabin, followed by two others, or when the door opens. He doesn’t hear an unfamiliar voice whistle in appreciation of Jack’s grisly corpse, or the sound of another voice with a thick Russian accent telling its owner to _shut the fuck up, Tim_. He doesn’t notice anything until Ashes kneels in front of him, gently pulling his hands away, gripping his wrists tightly. They have gloves on, worn leather cold against his skin.

“Jonny, hey. C’mon, look at me.” He shudders in their grip, but obliges, dragging his gaze up to meet their eyes. They smile reassuringly at him, nodding.

“Hey, there you go. Can you talk?” Jonny tries, but all that comes out of his mouth is a thin whine. They nod, letting go of his hands.

“That’s alright. That’s okay, don’t worry. Can you sign, then?” Jonny blinks. He’d forgotten they knew sign language too, so used to teachers and friends not knowing how to communicate with him when he gets like this.

_How are you so calm?_ He signs at them, and Ashes chuckles, shifting slightly. Jonny realizes belatedly that they’re blocking any view of the scene behind him, though he can still hear quiet bickering, and the sound of something being dragged across the floor.

“That’s a long story, and it’s definitely not for right now. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen a body, let’s just leave it at that.” Jonny frowns at them, but he doesn’t have the energy to protest.

_Your friends?_ He switches subjects, trying to lean around Ashes to see, but they don’t let him. One gloved hand comes up to grip his chin, and he relaxes almost immediately at the touch, some of the tension leaving him.

“This isn’t their first body, either. I can introduce you to them later, if you want, but just know that they can take care of this. You won’t get in trouble for anything, and neither will they.” Jonny nods. Internally, he’s surprised at how easily he’s accepting it, but he supposes he’ll have time to freak out later.

“Oh, here, hold on.” Ashes pulls back, digging around in their jacket pockets. The change in angle means Jonny can see someone else, who he presumes is one of Ashes’ friends. She glances over at him, meeting his eyes, and smiles slightly, raising a hand in greeting. Jonny hesitantly waves back, and she nods at him, before returning to whatever she’d been doing.

Ashes retrieves a packet of hand wipes from their coat, and Jonny snorts, accepting it when they hold it out to him. His friend stands, offering a hand to him, which he takes. They pull him up, catching him when his legs threaten to give out, and wrap an arm around his shoulder, gently maneuvering him outside. Jonny just barely catches a glimpse of the floor where Jack had been, and is surprised to see that it’s half clean, and his body is missing.

Before he can see more, though, Ashes leads him out the door, not letting go of him until he’s seated on the hood of their car. He pulls one of the wipes out, scrubbing at his hands with it, watching as the white material turns pink with blood. Ashes pats him lightly on the back, before stepping away.

“I need to go help those two, okay? Are you gonna be alright here?” Jonny thinks for a moment, before nodding. They give him a reassuring smile, nodding back at him before moving away, disappearing back into the house. Jonny’s breath shakes in his chest as he watches them go, and he shakes his head, trying to focus on wiping the blood from his skin.

-

“Hey, you remember how we met?” Jonny prompts, not looking up from where he’s carefully pulling apart the ribcage of his latest victim, Steve Estep. The man had been harassing Raph at her work recently, which was more then enough incentive. She was off on vacation to visit her family in Greece for the week, and Jonny was _hoping_ to have a nice surprise for her when she got back. Nearby, Nastya laughs, typing way on Steve’s computer, presumably leaving a false trail, or something. Jonny’s not really sure what she does, but it keeps the cops off their asses, and that’s what matters.

“Yeah, I remember! You’d just finished stabbing the shit out of the dude who was fucking- what was he even doing? Extorting you?” Jonny shrugs, pumping his fist triumphantly as he finally pries the ribs open, gaining access to the man’s heart. He grabs the jar of formaldehyde he’d stolen from Raph earlier that month, and sets to carefully severing the arteries connecting the heart, trying to keep it as intact as possible.

“Yeah, basically. I remember how fucking _panicked_ I was. Like, I was convinced I was never gonna recover from that. I mean, the sensory overload wasn’t helping with my rational thought, but still. Now look at me, two years later. Murder is like- a fun night out with the boys.” Nastya groans, pausing in her typing to look over at him.

“Never call me ‘the boys’ again, so help me God, Jonny.” The smaller man snorts, finally succeeding in his task, and gently placing the heart in the jar. The new weight pushes some of the liquid over the top, splashing down onto the floor, where it’s quickly absorbed by the carpet.

“Sorry, sorry. Girl’s night out, Nastya.” That earns him another groan, and he snorts as he screws the cap on, standing up.

“Okay, I’m done. Help me with this?” Jonny gestures at the now heartless body below him, and Nastya sighs.

“God, I never have to help when I do this with Raph or Ivy.” Despite her protests, she stands, walking over to take it by the ankles. Jonny sets the jar in a safe place, before grabbing the body by the armpits, lifting it with a strained huff.

“Then you should’ve done it with Raph or Ivy. There’s plenty of folks in the Murder Polycule to choose from, I’m sure any of them would be happy to help.” That gets him a laugh as Nastya moves with him, dragging the body out behind the warehouse. She doesn’t respond for a moment, instead focusing on lifting it up into the nearby dumpster. Jonny helps, groaning as a bit of blood drips down from the body’s open chest cavity, landing on his face. Eventually, he manages to get it over the edge, and loads the trash bags that he’d taken out earlier back on top of it, successfully concealing the body almost completely.

“Are you really insisting on calling it the Murder Polycule?” Jonny gives Nastya a fake offended look, peeling his gloves off and tossing them in the dumpster as well.

“Nastya, it makes perfect sense! We’re all dating, and we all murder people. Put it together, Murder Polycule!”

“If you say so, Jonny.”

“I do! I _do_ say so!”


	2. ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kettle clicks off, and Lyf tosses a teabag in a mug, pouring water on top of it. The mug is pleasantly warm, quickly migrating into too-hot territory as they quickly move over to their desk, depositing it next to their laptop, which sits open, but off. They tap the space bar, lighting up the screen, and they smile at the image that greets them, an old picture of them and their mom and sister, back when they’d visited Norway over summer break the year prior. Their hair is still long in that picture, not to mention a startling shade of blue, instead of the light silvery-violet they’d switched to recently, and it’s pulled behind their ear with a small flower clip, courtesy of their younger sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cons of staying up till 11 watching nexpo: spooky videos!!! you will be scared and cant sleep!!  
> pros of staying up till 11 watching nexpo: since you cant sleep you have more time to write :}

The door to Lyf’s apartment swings open, and they sigh, edging through the door, trying to hold their keys in one hand, and balance a frankly ridiculous number of bags in the other. They kick the door closed behind them, depositing the bags on the counter, and setting about loading them into their fridge, and setting aside what needs to be put in cabinets.

It’s been _way_ too long since they’d actually gotten groceries, but they’d been so busy with everything else going on, they hadn’t really had the time to go out shopping. They click the electric kettle on while they finish putting the cold items in the fridge, digging out a fresh box of tea from the bottom of one of the paper bags. It’s not as good as the expensive stuff they like, but they also can’t exactly afford to buy it all the time.

They finish putting everything away, and lean back against the countertop, pulling their phone out of their pocket. There’s one new text from their mom, a few from the group chat for their group project in Psychology class, and a couple of emails in their business email about the podcast. They choose to go through those first, but they’re mostly just people inquiring about were they’d been for the past three weeks, and asking if they’re okay. They debate not answering at all, but instead choose to fire off a couple of one or two-word replies, and elect to simply mark their texts as read.

The kettle clicks off, and Lyf tosses a teabag in a mug, pouring water on top of it. The mug is pleasantly warm, quickly migrating into too-hot territory as they quickly move over to their desk, depositing it next to their laptop, which sits open, but off. They tap the spacebar, lighting up the screen, and they smile at the image that greets them, an old picture of them and their mom and sister, back when they’d visited Norway over summer break the year prior. Their hair is still long in that picture, not to mention a startling shade of blue, instead of the light silvery-violet they’d switched to recently, and it’s pulled behind their ear with a small flower clip, courtesy of their younger sister.

Absently, they figure that they really should visit again when they get the chance, since video calls just aren’t the same, but flights are _expensive_ , and they refuse to let their mother pay for their visits. So, until they’ve got the money saved up, they’ll just have to reminisce over old photos and videos. Not quite the same, but close enough.

Shaking themselves out of their thoughts, they quickly type in their password, unlocking the computer, and pull up their recording software and script, taking a sip of their tea as they do so. It’s been _way_ too long since they’ve recorded an episode, and they figure an explanation for their disappearance is a bit overdue.

Lyf adjusts their microphone, clapping once. The audio levels spike on Audacity, which they have open in a side tab, while the talking points for this week’s episode are open in the other. They nod, sitting back in their chair, before starting to talk.

“Hello everyone, and welcome back to Memento Mori, the podcast where we talk about the dark, the disturbing, and the downright insane.” They cringe slightly at the intro. They’d come up with it almost three years ago, when they’d first started the podcast, and now they were too attached to change it, despite how stereotypical it was.

“As always, I’m your host Lyfrassir. Now, first let’s get something out of the way. I’m sure a lot of you have been wondering why I haven’t uploaded for a few weeks. I promise I didn’t leave you all hanging for no reason! I wasn’t legally allowed to talk about it till now, actually.” They pause for effect, reaching over to scroll down on their script.

“So, about two weeks ago, I was taking a drive to clear my head after staying up late studying, and I decided to stop by this little lake I like to visit sometimes. It’s pretty peaceful, especially at night, so I tend to hang out there during finals season. Now, the thing about this lake is, it backs several warehouses. One of them is totally empty, the other is barely used. This is important, because that means there’s almost never people there. There’s _especially_ no people there at one in the morning.

“So, I park my car and walk down to the shore, and I just hang out for a while, eat some snacks, you know how it is. Totally by chance, I glance over at one of the warehouses, and I see these two _figures_. And, I’m immediately on edge, because there’s no lights on, and there’s no reason for these people to be out so late at night. I watch them for a bit, and they seem to be talking to each other, and loading something into the dumpster around the back of the warehouse. They get it in there, and talk for a few extra seconds, then go back inside. After that, I see their car pull away up front. Just to be safe, I waited a few extra minutes, before walking all the way over there, and uh…” They pause again, grimacing at the memory.

“There was a body. Yeah, you heard me right. A fresh, still kind of warm, real life body. Like any sane person, I screamed like a little girl and sprinted back to my car so I could call the police. After that, it was a whole blur of cop cars showing up, and getting the body out. Apparently, I’d gotten just the right angle so I could see its face, but since most of it was covered, they thought I was suspicious? Which is the _weirdest_ fucking logic, if you ask me, but whatever. So, they take me in for questioning, and I tell them what I told you. The reason I wasn’t back until now is because they had to clear me as a suspect completely. They’re still looking for the killer, but I am _officially_ off the hook! So, hooray for that, I guess?” They laugh, pushing their glasses up on their nose and reaching over to scroll down again.

“That’s not the main focus of the episode, though. I’ll answer any extra questions you guys have about that on the Twitter, which is m-m-n-t-o-p-o-d. I know, but it was the best url I could get, since everything else was taken. Again, it’s m-m-n-t-o-p-o-d. Now, our main case today is the murder of one Daniel von Raum, which remains unsolved to this day, despite the killer’s apparent incompetence. Was this simply a mistake on the police department’s part, or something much more sinister? Let’s get into it.”

As they talk, Lyf allows themselves to slip into their Podcast Voice, adding an extra timbre to their tone, and speaking as if they were sharing a secret with the listener, one they weren’t supposed to. It had taken them a while to perfect, and the earlier episodes of the podcast are riddled with stutters and voice cracks, but two years of practice (and testosterone) had mostly evened it out, and they were a lot better now.

It’s an easy rhythm, bouncing between talking points, making their own hypothesis at the end of the episode as usual. They’d had a lot of fun looking into this specific case, since the contrast between the killer’s sloppy methods and the utter lack of closure was something that they personally found fascinating. They were almost tempted to turn it into a series, but they had just wrapped up another mini-series, and they weren’t eager to start another one.

The uncut recording ends up being about an hour, including all of the restarted segments and interruptions from outside noise. After it’s cut down and edited, Lyf figures it’ll be around 30 minutes, which seems to be the average for their episodes recently. They feel a bit bad for not providing more content after their sudden disappearance, but they’re still a bit tired from the whole ordeal, and they can release some of the bloopers they have stocked up, or something. People tend to like blooper reels.

They lean back in their chair, putting on something on Netflix in the background as they begin the arduous process of editing the episode down to something semi-polished.

-

The Murder Polycule (and nastya!)

_3:34_

nastya ;3: uh oh

nastya ;3: [The Mysterious Death of Daniel von Raum; Memento Mori Episode 63 - Spotify]

tim 🔪: is that marius’ fucking DAD

nastya ;3: yes, but that’s not the important part. listen to their introduction before the actual case.

nastya ;3: jonny I know you’re lurking. you too.

The Murder Polycule (and nastya!)

_3:38_

tim 🔪: oh shit.

Me: oh _SHIT_

brian!: idk what we’re talking about here but i wanna join in. echolalia moments.

brian!: oh shit!

-

“We were careless, Jonny. There’s nothing more to it.” Jonny leans back in his chair, balancing on its back legs, hooking his ankles around the table legs to keep himself in place. His laptop is open on the table, with the personal twitter page of the podcast host pulled up. It had been easy enough to find, especially since they used their real name. Not that much could stop Nastya from tracking someone down if she wanted to, but it was easier than usual, which was a bonus.

“I _know_ we were careless, Nastya, but it doesn’t change the fact that someone saw us, and now we have to worry about keeping the cops off of our asses on top of everything else. Remind me why I can’t just kill them before they uncover anything else?” Nastya sighs, giving him a look. Jonny knows why he can’t kill them, but in his defense, it’s fun to annoy Nastya, even in times like this.

“We can’t kill them, _Jonny_ , because God knows the police are keeping a closer eye on them, and we can’t exactly get away with it perfectly. They’ve got a good friend group, and they haven’t missed a single class in almost two and a half years of university. People would notice if they went missing, and we need to keep as much attention off of ourselves until the police calm down on the case. Or I can frame someone else for it. Whatever comes first.” Jonny groans, throwing his head back.

“That’s boring, Nastya. I think we should do it anyways, add some spice.” He only gets another sigh in response, and a plastic dinosaur thrown at his head. Granted, he kind of deserves it, but still. Jonny sighs, pulling himself back up into a sitting position, clicking on Lyfrassir’s profile.

“Hey, they go to school with Marius!” Nastya glances up at that, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I noticed. Why, are you implying _Marius_ kills them? You know he’s basically incapable of doing that shit on his own.” Jonny rolls his eyes, muttering ‘ _give him a bit more credit, dude_ ’ under his breath. Marius may be the newest addition to their weird polycule/partners in crime situation, but he had proved surprisingly good at holding his own, even if he still wasn’t the best at getting a clean kill. Who could blame the kid, though? He’d only been doing it for a few months, and when you took that into consideration, he was quite adept.

“No, I just mean like- he could use his, what does he call it? His _charm_ to get them off of our track. I mean, it’s not a perfect plan, but it’s better than letting them almost wander into finding out _way_ more than we want them too, like what happened with that Galahad dude that Brian’s been trying to throw off for a while.” Nastya hums thoughtfully, playing with one of the rings on her left hand absently.

“You guys talking about me?” As if on cue, Marius pokes his head in the room, grinning. Nastya groans, rolling her eyes, but Jonny pipes up before she can say anything.

“Hey Marius, I need your help to distract someone.” It’s worth the verbal throttling he’s gonna get from Nastya, purely from the way Marius pumps his fist excitedly, grinning at Jonny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always im on tumblr @blindfaithblindhate!


	3. iii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t be mean to him! He’s a romantic! I think it’s sweet, personally. Plus, I might be a lesbian, but even I can admit that Galahad guy is kinda cute.” Okay, it does have a point there. From what he’s seen of the other man, he does have a bit of charm to him. Not his type personally, but he can definitely respect it.
> 
> “Yeah, true. Still, it took Brian months to get Galahad to trust him, and I’m pretty sure I got Lyf right off the bat, so who’s the true winner here?”
> 
> -
> 
> Lyf does _not_ trust Marius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FORGOT TO POST THIS WHEN I WROTE IT  
> i dont have the spoons to rewrite this for a 3rd time to make it better so. just take this <3
> 
> (no specific content warnings, but marius does mention killing his father, and theres a sentence mentioning jonny getting stabbed)

Marius drums his fingers rapidly on the desk in front of him, watching Lyf as they scribble down notes. He’s only half paying attention to the professor, mostly trying to memorize what he can see of their mannerisms, already trying to figure out their ticks and indicators. He enjoys this part of the whole ordeal almost more than the actual murder, even though this time he’s not _technically_ supposed to kill them. Still, if he ends up _accidentally_ revealing too much information, and he just _has_ to get rid of them, it won’t be the end of the world.

There’s an open notebook in front of him, blank pages staring back up at him. He’d normally be great about taking notes, since Psychology is one of the only classes that actually interests him, but it’s part of his plan, so instead he’s spacing out, and secretly texting Toy under the table. Despite the fact that it has a job and schoolwork, just like the rest of them, it still has time to strike up a conversation with him whenever. He’s still not entirely convinced that his friend isn’t some kind of feral cryptid.

Of course, just his luck, the professor decides to go over time with the lecture, because nothing is easy for him, ever. He decides to take the opportunity to slip silently out of his seat, moving towards the hall so he can catch Lyfrassir on their way out, hopefully make the interaction look a bit less pre-planned. He’s pretty sure the other man will be more on edge than usual, so, as fun as it is, he should _avoid_ intentionally creeping him out, at least immediately.

Marius hovers outside the doorway until the door swings open again, a small crowd of students piling out. He quickly spots Lyfrassir’s silver-purple hair, and slips over to them, grinning to himself.

“Hey, Lyfrassir, right?” They startle, glancing over at him. He offers a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Sorry if I pronounced that wrong by the way, I can barely pronounce my own name most days. I just- you’re the only one in class I’ve even talked to at this point, and I was wondering if I could borrow your notes for this class? I had a doctor’s appointment so I missed it, and I _cannot_ fail another test.” Satisfaction curls in his chest as the slight suspicion in their eyes melts away into sympathy and understanding.

“Yeah, sure! I’ve missed a few classes before myself, this professor is _not_ forgiving when it comes to that shit. Oh, and, you can just call me Lyf.” Lyf lets Marius to fall into stride next to them as they walk, bag hitting lightly against their leg with every step. He laughs, still intently studying them as the two walk together.

“Thank you, seriously. My parents are _such_ hardasses when it comes to this stuff, even though I’ve got pretty good grades in everything else.” Lyf nods in understanding, chuckling.

“Oh, my dad was like that. My mom pretty much let me do what I wanted as long as I tried my hardest, but I’d always get chewed out if I got anything below an A. I guess it worked out for me in the long run, but still.” They push their glasses up on their nose, tucking a stray lock of hair behind their ear, and Marius tracks the movement. They seem remarkably relaxed around him, maybe this’ll be simpler than he thought.

Of course, getting them to relax and getting them to trust him are two different things, but he figures it still won’t be that difficult, if they’re so eager to calm down around him. The small part of his brain that remembers what it was like to be a gullible, lonely college student disagrees with the whole situation, but it’s quiet enough that he can shove the feelings down into the box where he keeps other inconvenient things, like his self esteem issues and trauma. Probably not the healthiest solution, but when has he ever been known for making good choices?

That’s a trick question, he never has. Honestly, he’s more known for his _bad_ choices, like tripping when he pushed his dad into a bonfire, or accidentally stabbing Jonny the first time they met. Overall, his track record isn’t the greatest, but whatever.

-

Marius stretches out on the bed, arching his back like a cat’s before letting himself fall flat. On the other side of the room, Toy sits on his desk, kicking its legs absently. There’s a comfortable silence between them, only interrupted by Toy’s occasional tics, and the patter of rain outside. After a minute, though, his friend sits up straighter and claps, grinning at him.

“So, Marius! You never told me how it went with Lyfrassir today!” Marius rolls his eyes, sitting up. The way it phrased its words makes their interaction sound like a _date_. Which isn’t to say Marius _wouldn’t_ date Lyf, if given the opportunity, but it’s definitely not the most important thing on his radar at the moment. He’d take the chance if it arose, but he’s more focused on making sure Jonny and Nastya (and, by extension, the rest of them) don’t get arrested for murder. Priorities, and all that.

Oh, Toy is still waiting. It raises an eyebrow patiently at him, pushing it’s glasses up on its nose.

“It went pretty well, actually. I’m probably gonna jinx it to hell and back saying this, but I think this might be easier than I thought it would be. They seem calm enough, despite the fact that they, you know, essentially witnessed a murder a few weeks ago. I expected them to be a lot more paranoid, but they’re pretty chill. It’s a nice change of pace.” Toy nods, taking a sip of its water bottle, the one ominously labelled ‘Liquid’. He has to give it to it; it’s definitely committed to the aesthetic. What aesthetic that is, exactly, he’s not sure, but it sure is committed.

“That’s good!” It chirps, grinning at him. “Hopefully you’ll have more luck than poor Brian is having.” It cuts itself off with a sharp whistle, jerking its head to the side momentarily before returning to its previous position, raising a hand to rub at its neck with a wince, apparently having pulled something with the tic.

“Yeah, well Brian fell for that dude, which I’m pretty sure I don’t have to worry about, since I don’t fall in love within two minutes of meeting someone.” Toy throws a pen at him, pouting, but he dodges it easily.

“Don’t be mean to him! He’s a romantic! I think it’s sweet, personally. Plus, I might be a lesbian, but even I can admit that Galahad guy is kinda cute.” Okay, it does have a point there. From what he’s seen of the other man, he does have a bit of charm to him. Not his type personally, but he can definitely respect it.

“Yeah, true. Still, it took Brian months to get Galahad to trust him, and I’m pretty sure I got Lyf right off the bat, so who’s the true winner here?”

-

Lyf does _not_ trust Marius. He seems nice enough on the surface, but they know for a fact that they haven’t talked to him before in their life, despite his claims to the contrary. On top of that, they’re pretty sure he’s doing better in that class then anyone else, if the grades they’d caught a glimpse of occasionally on his papers were anything to go by. They’d let him borrow their notes anyways, because they weren’t a _dick_ , but after everything that had happened barely a month ago, they’re understandably a bit on edge.

The one thing that’s bugging them is why Marius chose _them_ to single out. They’ve racked their brain for a reason he would try to pick them out of all the people in class, and haven’t come up with a single one. As far as they know, no one at school knows about the podcast, since they’re not exactly advertising it publicly, and it would make no sense for him to not just say it flat-out. He’s _way_ out of their league, so they’re pretty sure attraction isn’t playing a factor in the situation. Other than some theories that are completely out of left field, they’re out of ideas completely.

So, like any normal, ration person would, they decide to try and get into his file in the school’s database, using the hacking skills they’d learned from an ex a few years back, along with what they’d picked up since then. They were in no way _good_ at it, but they can get past the school’s relatively weak firewalls with ease. It’s a fun pastime to practice when they have days off from class, and nothing to record.

There’s only two Marius’ in the whole system, and one is a staff member, so it’s pretty easy to find his file. Marius von Raum, age 20. Junior, straight A student, except for a semester where he only showed up to three classes total. They blink at the name, and the dates of the missed classes, then glance down at their notebook, which is still open to the page full of notes on Daniel von Raum’s death. Oh. Huh.

It _could_ be a weird coincidence, but now that they’re looking, the other man even bears a resemblance to Daniel, they have the same mop of dark, curly hair, and the same tan skin. Well, if he doesn’t know about their podcast already, there’s _no_ way they’re telling him now, holy shit.

Absently, their mind flashes back to the glove he’d been wearing while they walked, despite the fact that the air was barely below 40 degrees, and the other glove was nowhere to be seen. There had been odd, twisted pink scars showing just below the cuff of the fabric, marring the entirety of his left hand. They looked a bit like burn scars, and Daniel von Raum _had_ been burned to death.

Actually, it’s entirely possible they’re from a separate accident, and Lyf doesn’t really want to think about the possibility of the man they just met trying to save his father from dying in a fire. Not really the best thoughts to have rattling around in your head as a first impression of someone. They do their best to drop the thought process, going back to looking over Marius’ file. Other than the chunk of missing time, it’s pretty mundane, if a bit above average in the grades department. As far as they can tell, he hasn’t gotten in trouble, or at least hasn’t been caught. Other than the obvious oddities, they can’t find anything weird about him.

Sighing, they exit out of the tab, checking to make sure their VPN is still on before shutting their laptop completely, pushing back from their desk. That was basically a waste of 40 minutes, but at least they learned a bit about Marius in the process? Little victories, or whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it/its lesbian ts indulgence
> 
> (as always im on tumblr @highnoonovercamelct!)

**Author's Note:**

> as always im on tumblr @blindfaithblindhate ! comments and kudos give me life :}


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